I remember it like it was only yesterday. Michael and I were attending a pre-marital course and our facilitator was trying to play devil’s advocate, convincing us that there are problems that could crop up after marriage. One by one, the couples quizzed said they saw eye to eye on many matters such as children, religion and future goals. The frustrated facilitator cried out, “No, trust me! One day one of you will want to buy a Nissan and the other a Ford! There will be issues!”
I looked on curiously then, wondering how can a small matter like that possibly compare to our marital discussions about where to retire and what to do if say, our kid is born a homosexual.
Yet only a few months later, Michael and I were to learn that marriage is not all about compromise. As our facilitator said, one day one of us will want something and the other something else and we will have to agree to a common answer.
The subject of the matter was the colour scheme of our new home in Casa Desa.
When I saw our spacious pad, I had visions of a pale off white with a shade of green or blue on the wall, complemented with dark furniture, possible black leather sofa. I envisioned a clean, spartan look with simple, modern accessories like a patternless dark wood tower CD case and a simple black rack with square candles. Cool colours would channel inner peace to the occupants and leave guests feeling transformed to a place called Bliss.My definition of our perfect living room could be described as Calming, Sedate and Serene because to me, a home should give its occupant a sense of peace.
Michael however had other ideas. His eyes crinkle at the thought of having a cream or beige wall that gives a sense of cozy comfort. Rich red sofas, ideally peppered with throw pillows in hues of orange and yellow highlight the living quarters. The mood, according to him, should reflect the sunny life on a beach, like something he saw out of Cairns, Australia. The furniture should therefore be closer to rattan (than leather), the tables made of wood and the lighting should give a strong tungsten glow. His living room was Warm and Cozy because to him, a home should feel welcoming and homely.
Oh, how we argued over the interior design! We finally agreed to split the colour schemes so we both get what we want. What a mistake! It resulted in a living room painted the very watery blue (that I wanted) that gives the serenity to the place…. but highlighted by Michael’s harsh yellow lights that would have bounced off well on beige walls but look hideous on light blue walls.
The richly coloured abstract paintings we got from Bali also looked a bit off on the wall, the colours clearly not complementing each other. And to worsen the scenario, the red, yellow and orange throw pillows on our sofa look so ‘salah’ and out of place.
That’s not all. Since I ‘won’ the debate for the hall colour, Michael rationalized he should have the final say in our bedroom colour, which he has decided will be a calming blue. “What?” I think to myself. “We have a blue hall and now a blue room as well? That’s so wrong! A bedroom should be in warm colours to evoke the sensuous mood of a bedroom!”
That was when our old pre-marital course facilitator’s words rang loud and clear. You can’t always ‘compromise’. Sometimes, you need both parties to agree on the same thing, less the house end up looking like a mish mash of ideas.
So after six months of this odd colourization, I have decided to give up my vision of Peace and Tranquility, and settled for Warm and Cozy. Maybe I’ll have better luck at the next joint decision.
Come to think of it, the issue of Nissan versus Ford just might crop up.Hmm...
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